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After a VERY close call a few days ago with a Hummer H2 that pulled out in front of me, I realized I would have been under it and probably quite seriously injured in the process.  That led me to wonder, why have cars swelled to such gargantuan size these days?

At a redlight this morning, I saw a mid-late 90′s F-150 sitting next to a 2009 F-150.  The difference was ridiculous.  For years, though, the F-150 is said to have been the best selling truck in America, so it should represent a good case study of what Americans want.  After doing some digging on http://autos.msn.com, the biggest F-150 made in 1996 was the XL SuperCab Long Bed weighing in at 4587lbs.  For 2009, the largest is the XL 8ft. bed 4×4 weighing in at a MASSIVE 5820lbs.  The smallest 2009 F-150 is the RWD XL 6.5ft bed, which at 4743lbs is STILL heavier than 1996′s largest.  But why?

Can someone please explain to me why, even as gas prices continue to threaten an upward trend, vehicles are becoming larger and larger?  And why the hell is such a giant vehicle still the top selling in America?  I consider myself something of a nerd, and enjoy learning about anything I can.  I think I have a rudimentary grasp of things like nuclear fission and astrophysics… but my mind can’t grasp why people WANT to drive vehicles like this.

Also, here’s a chart:

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Let me just start off by saying… no, I don’t have an MBA. I don’t even have a Bachelors degree. I’m not CEO or CFO material, either. But, unlike any of the CEOs of the Big 3… I’m actually a car guy. So, what would I do with Detroit? Read the rest of this entry »

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Every time we get the cool temperatures and high humidity that lead to pea soup fog, I find myself utterly amazed on my commute to work just how many people are too goddamn stupid to turn on their headlights in it.  It seems to me to be a fairly simple concept.  Not only is it the law, it helps other people see you.  That’s right… you don’t turn on your headlights to help you see… but to help you BE SEEN.

It’s not that hard, regardless of the car.  Some it’s a twist of a stalk on the steering column, some the knobs are on the dash, and some have a pull out handle.  Regardless of the style, it takes all of 1 second to do, and it helps make sure that people can see you from more than 30 ft away.

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Ever since I’ve started driving a Miata, I’ve realized a very important lesson.  Every single person on the road is actively trying to kill me.  I know it’s always said for motorcycle riders, but in this day and age when half the population drives gigantic SUVs and even “compact cars” have swelled past 3000lbs, it goes for anyone who drives anything smaller than an Accord, I think.

So what is it about my car that attracts stupidity?  Friday on the way home, I rounded a right hand corner in my own lane and found a SUV coming at me straddling the yellow…. and he had the audacity to honk at ME… as if I am somehow at fault for him not being able to drive his lumbering beast of a vehicle that he has to buy to reassure himself of his manhood.  This morning I had someone driving an SUV cross the double yellow in a curve forcing me to lock up the brakes and come to a complete stop in the road as he continued his line and speed and didn’t seem to even notice me at all despite the screech of tires, the honk of the horn, and the large cloud of tire smoke rising in my wake.  I guess his phone call was just too important.  And these incidents say nothing of the numerous times I’ve had people turn in front of me, pull out in front of me, or otherwise endanger both of us because they just don’t seem to see me.  Wonder Woman’s invisible plane has nothing on my invisible car!

So I’ve actually had to come to terms with the simple fact that there’s a high probabiliy I could die in that car.  It’s not enough to deter me, of course, as there are VERY few things in life that could actually convince me to drive around a behemoth SUV just so I could win as a battering ram in an accident.  I’ll stick to my fun little sports cars despite the threats of decapitation and death.  I just wish more Americans would actually drive something they’re capable of handling, or at VERY least pay some fucking attention to where they’re going.  Hang up the phone, watch the road, and try not to kill us lowly peons as you smugly look down upon us from your 15mpg La-Z-Boy on wheels.

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It has come to my attention during a conversation today that my utter contempt for SpeedTV’s programming department has precious little to do with their programming director, and instead reflects the general “car culture” that we have these days. So allow me to shift that contempt briefly.

I hate today’s “car culture”. No, hate isn’t even a strong enough word.  I loathe today’s car culture.  I detest today’s car culture. I always thought the automotive scene was about horsepower… about racing… about cars. The shows that I liked on Speed have gone away due to this shift in demographic. Gone are the classic races on Legends of Motorsport. Gone are the brilliant beautiful cars of Victory by Design. Gone is the WRC.  Gone is Motorsports Mundial.  And now to replace them, we have the manufactured melodrama of Pinks smattered with a sprinkling of actual racing… and what I like to classify as “douchebags participating in douchebaggery” with shows like Unique Whips, Livin’ the Low Life, and SuperBikes.

Why? What has happened to “car guys?” It was pointed out that these days if you said Holman & Moody, most “car guys” would think it’s just a bargain basement knockoff of Bang & Olufsen. There’s more interest in paint jobs and sound systems than in superchargers and suspensions. This generation cares about the show, not the go.

And therein lies my contempt. I don’t give a flying fuck about seeing a Ferrari Enzo parked on the grass at a Concours d’Elegance. I want to see that Enzo driven in anger around a track. I don’t care how big the wheels are on an SUV, or how big the LCDs are, or how many decibels the sound system can do. I want to see that SUV out in the environment it was intended to be, and that environment involves rocks, mud, and a general lack of traction.  It is my firm belief that cars have wheels… engines… etc not as another part to decorate, but because they’re meant to be driven.

So where does that leave us, the so called “hardcore” fans? What do we have to do to take back car culture? Do I have to go to NOPI, SEMA, etc. and personally stab every riceboy there to end the plague that is destroying our hobby? Must we convert them by the sword to our favorite form of motorsport? What will it take to change the demographic and bring back meaningful motorsports shows? I want more shows about vintage racing, down & dirty engineering, grassroots motorsports… and less shows about lowriders, “stunters”, and rich assholes doing hideous mods to otherwise beautiful cars.

So who’s with me? Who will take up arms in my crusade to spread the gospel of F1, ALMS, DTM, and sports car racing in general? Where’s our Jerusalem to crusade to? Which walls must we break down to drive the infidels out of our hobby and reclaim it in the name of horsepower and the smell of burning rubber?

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